DISCLAIMER

DISCLAIMER. I would like to thank the newspapers that have covered the Walter Masocha story as they have helped raise awareness of abuse happening in some churches which has been going unreported. However, I have not given any national newspapers the right to waiver my anonymity as a victim of Walter Masocha. This is a personal blog and its within my legal rights to express myself here. According to the law my identity is protected in the media. At this stage, I do not wish to be named in any Scottish or English National Papers. Any newspapers that will name me/ or have already done so have done this without my permission or consent. Any newspapers which have published my picture have done so without my consent. I do not wish to have my pictures published in any Scottish or English newspapers. I ask the media , which I greatly respect for their support in this case in covering the story to respect my right to anonymity as a victim and not name me in any newspapers unless I sign a consent form and agree to do so. I am not ready to be named and I want to use the protection I am granted by law at this time. Thank you.

Saturday 22 August 2015

Josh Duggar, Trapped In A Cult

On Friday I watched  a very sobering and moving new Chanel 5 documentary called Trapped In A Cult, telling of frightening stories of people affected by cults. One woman's story was almost identical to mine. The documentary made me realize that at times as human beings, we can help create our own cults even within the four walls of our own homes. As I was pondering on this whole matter after the documentary I watched, lo and behold one of my once favorite Christian family was making the headlines, but this time it was their son Josh Duggar on CNN. For my readers who don't know who Josh Duggar is, Josh is a Christian Reality TV star, the firstborn son of American Christian couple Michelle and Jim Bob Daggar who have 19 children, and are practically famous for it.  I  first knew about this family about 7 years ago when they were endorsing the film Fireproof, which is one of my favorite films of all time, and my favorite actor Kirk Cameron was also endorsing their show. The Duggar family caught my attention and since then I became a huge fan. An extraordinary family it is, none of the 19 children are adopted, all of them were given birth to by one woman, Michelle Daggar. I became fascinated with the family, and their reality show on TLC, 19 Kids and Counting, was always on my sky recorder. I admired how they raised their children, strict christian values. I remember showing my ex husband their website, how they home schooled their children, how they didn't watch TV, strict courtship rules, no kissing before marriage etc etc, I even prayed to God that I wanted to raise my children like that, I remember even watching TV became a no no at some point,  whilst I was praying earnestly that God would open a way for me to homeschool my children. Oh the Duggar family was just a picture of Christian perfection, how parents are supposed to raise a super duper jolly godly family.

Josh Daggar Scandal 

However today, in a diabolic twist of the christian fairy tale that was almost too good to be true, the Duggar's firstborn son Josh is making headlines on CNN, BBC, Daily Mail, the blogsphere and just about anywhere you find breaking news. The headlines are nothing to do with him being a family values advocate that he has been well known for, but rather everything that opposes that. The picture perfect christian family has now fallen from grace in a spectecular way. Walter Masocha kinda fall from grace. Its epic. Josh Duggar has been outed as one of the 32 million people, yes 32 million who were using the cheating website Ashley Madison. For those who dont know Ashely Madison, its a website that is designed soley for the purpose of cheating on your spouse, because apparently, life is too short, you might as well have an affair and have fun. Yeah I know right. But whats more shocking to me is not the website itself or what it stands for, but that it had 32 million married people secretly using its services faithfully, and one of them to be exposed is married father of four Josh Duggar, of all people! He listed his interests on the site as Conventional sex, experimenting with sex toys, one night stands and receiving foreplay among many other fantasies, I'm sure his parents who practically raised him in a box, literally, have cried tears of blood over these revelations, and are probably perplexed as to how their precious godly son even knew about these things, for they were never mentioned in the box. Hmmm Josh has recently issued a statement after the Ashley Madison scandal, and part of it went something like this...

"I have been the biggest hypocrite ever. While espousing faith and family values, I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife

Josh Duggar the devout Christian who campaigned around America for family values and biblical principals, speaking against divorce, infidelity other "sins" has himself been cheating on his wife and literally lying to the whole world, especially to thousands of Christians who looked up to him and saw him as a role model of their faith. And now the non-believers are having a party, because Josh has brought the name of Christ into shame and disrepute. I was listening to Todd Friel last night, and he was saying Josh was not truly born again, hence he committed these shameful sins, so Josh needs salvation. Some Christians are saying he needs church discipline, which could all be true, the guy needs help, and I think at this stage anything, any help will do. I however look at this rather differently, having come out of a "Christian Cult" Agape, I now understand that in life there are strict things people do and attribute them to God or the bible, when in fact they are human traditions , which in reality have nothing to do with God or the bible. I believe Josh Daggar is a victim of a CULT, the perpetrators being his own parents. Their extreme beliefs are big contributing factors to the self disruptive behavior of Josh Duggar. I believe his unusual and strict upbringing played a huge part in the man Josh is today.

Here are some of the rules that Josh Duggar and his siblings were subjected to growing up...despite none of them not being in the bible...

  • no going to the beach because it was a sinful place
  • no any form of dancing because it stimulates sensuality 
  • the girls only wear dresses, no pants
  • no TV
  • no alcohol
  • no romantic novels
  • no kissing, or hugging, or spending time alone before marriage
This young man was raised in isolation, with strict "christian rules" that in reality has nothing to do with the bible or God. One thing I have learnt about cults is they are toxic, one way or the other, it will only take one day, and everything will explode. We are human beings, and God himself created us to live in this world, not in a cupboard in your house. You can not shelter your children from the world and keep them in little bubbles, its cultic and dangarous and abusive. Not one saint in the bible ever attempted to live outside the world, so I don't understand why people do it using the bible. Joseph, a man mightily used by God lived in Egypt, even wore Egyptian clothing, I'm sure Ephriam and Menasah played with other Egyptian boys and if there was television those days Joseph would not have had a hissy fit had his boys watched a bit of Egyptian cartoons. Esther is another God fearing woman who lived in a sinful world, but she was still used by God in Persia. Jesus Christ himself lived a full life mixing with sinful people of this world. If there was television in His day, I really don't think  Jesus would have created a commandment against it.  Christians need to relax and allow themselves to live in the world, and the world includes the beach, its not a sin to go there wearing a bikini, its life. How was Josh supposed to learn about life when he was basically sheltered from it. Had Josh Daggar been allowed to live in the world and be a normal child, I'm sure we would not be watching him on CNN today.

My heart bleeds for the other 18 children who are still trapped in the Duggar Cult. I hope they release their poor children from this cult and allow them to live in the real world and experience life for themselves. Of course we have to be careful what we expose our children to, for the days are evil and wickedness, but we have to remember He giveth more grace. Doing what Michelle and Jim Bob did to me is a lack of faith and trust in God that He is more powerful thän the god of this world, which triggered the extremism. Had they trusted God with their children, they would have even maybe allowed Josh to go to school where he could have been exposed to life and learnt a thing or two from life experiences. School in itself is not evil, though the system is corrupted, but God is still on the throne watching over our children in school.

Having come out of a "Christian Cult" that almost destroyed my life was I not strong enough, I have learnt that the bible is a very powerful book, and anyone can use it to do evil or to do good. Many evil atrocities have been committed using the bible, we can even use the book to create our own monsters whilst running away from the "evil" world. I believe the monster within can be more evil. Josh Daggar is a monster created by his own over zealous extremist parents. I believe Josh needs to break free from the believes he was raised in and read the bible for himself and get to know whom God says He is for himself. The first step to breaking free from mental slavery is knowing is knowing who you are, and I believe right now Josh Daggar hasn't got a clue. Thats why on Ashely Madison he used a picture of another guy a DJ called Mathew McCarthy who has now lost a few gigs because of the scandal and hes considering suing Josh for defamation. Parents please do not trap your children in CULTS. 

In Other News 


Talking about family values and principles. I love animals so much and so does my family, sometimes for me its hard to eat meat...lol. Animals seem to be drawn to me too, Sometimes animals just walk or fly towards me, like this beautiful cow she just came to me, sooo cute. Well they say a dog is a man's best friend. My 11 year old daughter has wanted a puppy for years now, and we are thinking about adding another baby to our ever growing family...after everything she has endured and being such a brave and resilient young damsel, maybe a cute little puppy for her is not such a bad idea...


















Tuesday 18 August 2015

Jean, who ordained you into ministry?


Ever since I started sharing inspirational messages on You Tube and Facebook and Speaking at Churches sharing my story, some readers of my blog have criticized me from doing such as they claim I am not ordained to do so. They keep asking me by what authority do I do what I'm doing, uploading videos on You Tube and being a speaker, who ordained me they ask? They say I warned people that Walter Masocha was a self ordained Prophet, so now I am doing the same, though with all the respect I have not claimed to see the face of God, his lips and all, neither have I claimed to be a Prophetess. I am not warning people that anyone who criticizes me will suffer the wrath of God as Walter Masocha did, neither am I asking people for money to buy first class tickets to New York. I am not asking my followers to buy my children waitrose food, neither am I demanding my followers fast and pray for me to get their blessings, and I definitely, I mean most definitely will not be walking on anyone's jackets. Up to date I have never gained a penny from my story, the day of Walter Masocha being found guilty I switched off my phone, because every reporter wanted my story, some offering to pay me, but I refused, because its always been about the truth, and being true to myself. I am just being me, Jean doing what I'm passionate about, even my critics are welcome to partake, and they will not be cursed for doing so. One of my favorite blog readers Critical wrote this post...its unedited, spelling, grammar errors and all, but I did not want to dilute the extent of the opposition I face... 

From Critical,  my favorite reader of the blog...

"Jean, no one can argue about your ordeal. Your dream to start a ministry will come to pass (even Walter's dream for a ministry still came to pass). There was a question you did not answer; who ordained you into ministry???. Not that it matters much in this day and age where self proclaimed bishops, pastors, evangelists, apostles etc are on the prowl like crazed dogs. I do not judge how you came up with this idea but what I can say to you is that here on your blog, you have a platform to horn your leadership skills through engaging with your audience in an enlightening manner. When a question is posed, yours is not to say you will do what you want whether one likes it or not.. That's not proper. You are like the biblical city built on the hill, everyone sees and watches you more than ever and you have to be like what Jesus said. I am not trying to be a preacher nor am I one. I just think you should engage your audience with tact and intellect. Some of the audience here are 20x as educated or can bless your ministry in different ways, don't think the critisism you are getting is from Walters fans, but from people who one day may follow you as you once did to Walter. Rationality is a difficult thing; using biblical verses and quotes is a common trick that was first practised by the devil himself on Jesus. Every church preaches the bible, Walter was no different and you will also be preaching from the same book. I hear about Isralites and Ninevah and the rest of it. That's not the point. I do not want to get into the depths of what, when and how did the bible came to being as that's out of context. The Christian of today uses intuition and describes it as the Holy Spirit. Every imagination or personal dream is taken as Devine inspiration. One thing that's apparent to me is that Jean likes the limelight and fame. That's not a bad thing at all as all footballers, musicians etc also like fame. Even Pastors like fame too.... But it's what we do with the fame that defines us. ... My opinion is that Jean has seen how powerful church leaders can be and how rewarding ministry can be. She also likes that. Is she wrong?? No. For the world is altogether evil. However, using God's name to further whatever interests is a delicate matter, you must be certain of it as no one other than God himself will take you to task. To use examples of Joyce Mayer etc shows you are trying to match yourself with what's already out there. Joyce Mayer herself is not free from scandal but that's not the point. All the famous biblical characters are not known because they formed ministries or became pastors; they are known simply for their stories without ever preaching about them..... My point is, Jean's story has and will continue to inspire other victims out there and it's a good thing...does it mean Jean has to become a Minister to preach it??? Certainly not....unless she answers the question; Who ordained you into ministry???" 

Response to Critical, from Believe my truthful blog reader....



The word "ordain" comes from the Greek word "diatassō" which means to "appoint". In general as well as Biblical terms theword "minister " comes from the Greek word "diakoneō" which means to be a Servant.When the two words are combined, "ordained minister " - we get the definition"to appoint one to serve, or appointed servant".

IS JEAN APPOINTED TO SERVE? Who can appoint someone to serve, Man or God or Both??

An ordained minister is a believer who have been appointed by a group of believers to act as a servant to humanity on behalf of God.

Is Jean Ordained?? Answer is YES 

[An ordained minister is a believer who have been appointed by a Group of believers to act as a servant to humanity on behalf of God.]

An ordained Minister is a BELIEVER...

Is Jean a Believer? Yes, Jean is a Believer of the Word of God. She proclaims the Word which is Jesus Christ.

Is Jean appointed by a group of Believers? Answer is Yes. Lot of people including my family see Jean as an Inspiration and we listen to her words. My family is a Group of Believers, so We have appointed her already without her making an effort. I guess most people including you who visits this Blog blesses Her and sometimes feel encouraged by her life story. In heart, You have appointed her. I also believe most women out there look up to her for encouragement, That's appointing her as a Leader.

How do we appoint a President for the Nation? Do we vote? If yes, Then Jean is already appointed to be our Leader.

And Since Her deeds shows the Mighty works of Christ, she is already ordained by the Believers on the Blog, Facebook, Family, Neighbors et al.

“Ordain” is an act of consecration. Did God anoint and ordain?

“ Aaron’s sacred garments will belong to his descendants so that they can be anointed and ordained in them. ” ( Ex 29:29 ). This means Aarons descendants were Ordained by just wearing the Garment? Keep thinking...

SHOULD I WAIT TILL I SEE JEAN,S ANOINTING OIL ON THE FLOOR OR SEE BISHOP ON YOU TUBE SAYING I'M ANOINTING JEAN BEFORE I RECEIVE HER WORDS?? #Keep Thinking. 


WHAT IS ANOINTING: It is joy, passion, power, glory, confidence, boldness an authority. Anointing is the power to preach, sing, witness, testify and do spiritual warfare.These characteristics shows Jean isnt attention seeker but anointed. Jean keep doing your Thing okay? The Hebrew word for anointing is mishḥa which comes from the root word anoint and means “an unction (the act); by implication a consecratory gift.”

The Old Testament generally speaks of anointing in the sense of a special setting apart for an office or function.

Men and women of God have operated in the anointing throughout history. While being eaten by lions, they sang; while being blindfolded and waiting for bullets to fire through their entire bodies, they prayed in peace; and as Stephen was being stoned, he looked up to heaven and asked God, “Lord, lay not this sin to their charge” (Acts 7:60). These saints of God paid the ultimate price for their commitment to the cause of the anointing. Jean suffered in the Hands of Evil Mosocha, His Ex Husband and even close Relations because of the anointing on her. Anointing is peace. It comes suddenly, and it takes time. It is meek, and it is strong.

Some of these descriptions sound almost like an oxymoron. Yet when the anointing comes, it creates a divine paradox—just as it did at the beginning of creation. Light exposes darkness(Jean Exposed Evil man Mosocha).

Truth confronts lies. Life confronts death. Everything that can be shaken is removed so the things that can’t be shaken will remain. Jean's Ministeries Remains because the Foundation is Christ not Voodoo.

Everyone has the capacity to be anointed. God is no respecter of persons. The anointing is for every believer—every man, woman, boy and girl.It is for the young. It is for the old. It is for the rich, and it is for the poor. It is for the one who is near and the one who is far off. The anointing is for you, your children, your children’s children and “as many as the Lord our God will call” (Acts 2:39)

If everyone can be anointed, Then God can even use You to ordain Jean. She doesnt have to put on YOU TUBE who Ordained her. Even Her Kids can ordain her since they can be anointed to do that. If one more believer somewhere has blessed Jean for her Ministry, she's Already ORDAINED. 

Hi Jean, will send you my family pictures so you tell the World we Ordained you okay...

But Jean, you must first realize one thing. The enemy will come and tell you, “You aren’t good enough to have the anointing on your life.” He’ll tell you that because you are divorced or you didn’t come from a family in the ministry or you aren’t a perfect person, therefore you can’t experience the anointing. He’ll constantly say to you, “Don’t you remember when ... ?”

Jean don’t ever forget this one fact: The devil is a liar!

You will forever be remembered for this work for God. 

Heaven is proud of You. 



Believe inspired me to post this video my little boy took of me months ago dancing to I KNOW WHO I AM 

I was truly encouraged by Believe's response. It so happened today, I ended up in my spam inbox on Facebook. I went there by accident, and lo and behold there were dozens of messages that I had received from faithful blog readers whom I had inspired. I had never read these messages, and my heart melted and my tears welled up, because each message was deep and heartfelt, yet never read. I always try my best to respond to emails and Facebook messages, but for some reason, these special messages missed me. I have withheld the names for privacy, but to the beautiful people who sent me these messages, you may not have got a reply, but today you encouraged me in ways you may never know. And for the first time I felt moved to share with my readers your heartfelt messages to me...


 Hi Jean hope you are well.I have always read your blog and cant tell you how much I admire you and how much you inspire me.I was once married and bought a house,hoping to prepare for my children.But unfortunately nguva yaMwari yangaisati yakwana so I suffered 2 miscarriages at 21 weeks and some when I was a few weeks pregnant.Anywhere to cut the long story short,my husband left me nenyaya yembereko.Finally in 2011 I was blessed with twin girls called them Chipo and Grace .Up to now I still cant believe nyasha dzandakaitirwa naIshe, the whole world had written me ff and I cried when I was told at my first scan when they told me I was having twins.Unfortunately they were not tears of joy but of sadness, because I was thinking and asking God how and why he can give me twins when he knows exactly that I couldn't even carry one. All the best of luck at the trial of Masocha,I hope gives you and the other victims the justice you so deserve.
Jean I am a radio presenter @ VisionsFM radio. Read your blog. Such a powerful story, would you like to have an interview sometime and talk about your life story and writing career. Let me know and I will give you my contact detail
  I read with passion the story of your abuse at Agape Ministries. I am SORRY Sister to hear about all these abuses you suffered at Church of God which is suppose to cushion you and your family. I am really angry. I rally behind you. I am glad you come open. All the action you take is good. If anyone threatens you dont hesitate go to the Police station for protection. I hope you are also getting support from people in UK? I HAVE PUBLISHED YOUR STORY:http://shockingnews21.wordpress.com/2014/02/01/zimbabwean-bishop-arrested-in-the-uk/ What you did by coming open you will also help thousands others being abused in Churches especially in Zimbabwe. Keep in touch my Sister. I love your stand. Regards.  
Jean I just want to say that we love u and pray for you. From the moment I read your blog, I was hooked. You are such a talented beautiful soul. Many is a time that I have gone to bed at 4am reading your work. I am so proud of your bravery. Your Dad Never is my husbands brother and he talks about him every day. Go Jean!!! We all believe you and you should know that there are thousands of people who are praying for you!!


 Hi Jean i'm so sorry about what happened to you ...all i can say is you are such a strong lady don't let negetive comments get into you there lot of people out there that believe your story , i read it today on baba Jukwa's page
I am not a fan of long posts on facebook but I was standing in a long que at kfc and I happened to read your post on Faith, and that is the most powerful heartful post I have ever read, I could feel your heart pour out to her and I want to say thank you for the honest and loving advice . it moved me so much I forgot about my hunger at kfc and went home to look at your blog. Theres so much more to life with people like you around to give us hope and inspiration...THANK YOU
I don't know you personally but I have been following your story for sometime. Just want to say well done for the bravely and determination you have shown throughout what must have been a terribly ordeal for u. Congratulations and again, well done my dear. We need more women like you on this earth.  
  I follow your blog every now and then. Don't let conniving and manipulative persons silence your person. Well done for speaking for a thousand innocent silent souls who are taken advantage of by these people in the name of the bible
This one I read, but I love this message so much it could not miss this wall because it made me cry...


I saw a link on a facebook group.  Not sure what made me follow up the link and it was you announcing that you had a new blog as you were not  writing on the He was my daddy blog. I started going backwards  reading anything i could find about you.  I am in awe of your  strength, resilience, courage, perseverance against all odds. Equally important that you held on to your faith.  Most likely i would not have believed  your story  if I was not a survivor of abuse  myself.  Thats one of the many evils of many forms of abuse.  The experiences are just unbelievable.  Abuse is too outrageous to be   true, too weird, too unreal - the opposite of what we regard as norm.  Unlike you I do not have the courage to write about and share it with  others - maybe anonymously - one day - not sure.  Recollecting the events is still bad enough. I just what you to know that I am rooting for you.  I am possibly old  enough to be your mother but you have wisdom beyond you age. Best wishes as you move on with your life.  May it be  a productive  and happy one.

In Other News....

Summer is almost over, autumn will be here next month, but it feels like its autumn already. Its been a beautiful summer full of adventure, surprises, twists, turns, guilty verdicts and even weddings. It been eventful, and events continue to happen very fast. But a new season is nigh, just around the corner, its time to embrace the change. I change my hair with seasons, Jamaican locks is the hair of the season. Its cosy, light and long, gives me the warmth I need against the wind. I told you I am growing my natural hair for dreadlocks. I have already started locking Fadzi's hair. The Jamaican locks are a teaser of how I will look with  full grown dreadlocks when I finally unleash the African goddess in me! Be inspired...



Thursday 13 August 2015

Im Not Mad, I'm Just A Woman

Today I feel inclined to share with my readers this poem I wrote last year when I was at my lowest in life. Sex Offender Walter Masocha had lied to his followers that the case was closed. Walter lied to his followers the Judge had ruled that Jean was mad, so Walter was no longer to be charged with sexual offences. As obnoxious as it was, as crazy as it sounds, unfortunately Agape Church believed the the lies of their Prophet. At the same time, with the instruction of Walter Masocha, my ex husband was putting me through a grueling custody battle claiming I  was too mad to look after my own children. In the midst of all the pain, I fought for my children. In the midst of all the pain, I fought for my own sanity. It had all started with a 999 phone-call in which they said I was mad. But 2 years later I have came out of it all, without even a clinical diagnoses of stress. When I wrote this poem, tears where streaming down my face, but my poem kept me going when I felt like giving up, because I knew I had never been mad, but just a woman with a passion....

Not Mad, Just A Woman 

You may know all my weaknesses
And even help create more than half of them
You may know what makes me cry
And even know all the things I hate
You may not like to hold my hand
In the lonely cold winter night
You may crush my weak soul with big biting words
And wound my fragile spirit with stings of hate
I may succumb and fall as you crush my mind
But even as I lie on the cold floor confused I will still whisper
I am not mad, I am just a woman
You may write my name on Facebook
And tell all your twitter followers
You may post my video on Vimeo
And tell the world all you know about me
She’s not just a woman, alas she’s mad
But like Maya Angelou
Out of the dust as a woman still I rise
Even in the dirt you smeared me with
Still I rise and stand up tall 
In all my weakness I will still look up and whisper
I am not mad, I am just a woman

By trapping my mind in a place of no return
I will show you something you never knew
I was simply born to be a woman
The woman in me is all the strength I ever need
The beauty in me shines like a diamond
If only you had chosen to understand me
Then you’d have been able to see
That I was never mad, but just a woman
With the JAW bone of a woman I fought for my right
To be just the woman I am
No matter how much you choose to refuse it
I am not mad, I am just a woman 


In Other News...

May you be inspired by my message on the power of being yourself and enlarging your territory, inspired by the woman who had a passion for her Savior. She wasn't mad, she was just woman who expressed herself the best way she knew how, by being herself. She left a legacy because she was original, she did not let anyone define her passion and freedom of expression ...be inspired


In Other Other News...

As my passion ignites, my territory expands...yes I am not mad, I am just a woman

Hear O Daughter and consider
Incline your ear and forget your people
And the king will greatly desire your beauty 
Since he is your lord bow to him
The people of Tyre will seek your favour with gifts 
The richest of the people, Psalm 45